Shopping

Mindset of Change

Ok, here we go.

"Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping."

Gertrude Stein

As a reforming shopaholic, Ms. Stein's words were practically gospel to me for decades. Some of my best and earliest memories were shopping with my Aunts around the holidays. Christmas money would be cheerfully spent on secondhand cashmere and sequined jeans and sparkly hair baubles (you remember the 90s butterfly clips right?). In fact, one of my very earliest memories was receiving a black velvet and gold holiday party dress from my Grandmother when I was perhaps 5 or 6. We were in a department store and she declared it 'too expensive', but got it for me anyway. Shopping is how love manifested in my family.

For my paternal grandparents, this materialism was the direct result of growing up in rather extreme poverty. My Grandpa R grew up in the Philippines during WW2 and likes to remind us that he was forced to eat his pet dog to avoid starving when the Japanese confiscated their chickens. My Grandma G grew up in rural Minnesota on a farm without heating, and remembers leaping out of bed in the winter and dressing hastily in front of the fire to try to retain warmth. By the time they had children and grandchildren, they were pretty well off and liked to shower us with gifts. It was the American Dream after all.

For my maternal grandparents, accumulating objects was no less important. My Grandpa N was well traveled and liked to buy art as tangible reminders of his experiences. My Grandma D was a hoarder both generally and of knowledge. When she died, she had so many encyclopedias and full magazine runs we couldn't even donate it all. Ay, and there lies the rub. For these material objects may bring us fleeting, or sometimes even lasting, joy. But in the end, they outlive us. And their production and shipping and eventual discard takes a heavy toll on the environment.

In the last 30 years or so, over 700 million people have been raised out of extreme poverty (worldvision.org). This is an incredible accomplishment. But people who see Adidas advertisements on billboards, and catch snippets of Friends on store TVs naturally begin to associate a western way of living with prosperity. And if we can have 10 pairs of shoes, order cat toys on Amazon overnight, and get coffee in a disposable cup 5 times a week, why shouldn't they?

The unfortunate truth is that the Earth simply cannot sustain that level of consumption. If everyone lived like people do in the US, we would need 5 earths instead of the single one we've got (overshoot.footprintnetwork.org). And if we only have one, why cover it in trash? (Looking at you, Great Pacific Garbage Patch, nationalgeopgraphic.org and you, Apex Regional Landfill, trashcansunlimited.com)

Thus, a new vision of prosperity becomes necessary. One that would be sustainable for the 8 billion people who call Earth home. This vision need not replace the beloved American Dream, but merely reinterpret it. For in fact, the American Dream has nothing to do with materialism.

"It is not a dream of motorcars and high wages merely, but a dream of social order in which each man and woman shall be able to attain to the fullest stature of which they are innately capable, and be recognized by others for what they are, regardless of the fortuitous circumstances of birth or position."

James Truslow Adams, Epic of America

What is prosperity really?

I would propose that a new vision of prosperity should go back to the basics: what does it mean to "attain to the fullest stature"? What is it to "be recognized by others for what they are"? One can certainly see why a McMansion and designer items might fit this bill, but I would submit that, in fact, it means the opportunity to achieve one's potential - mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually - regardless of social standing. And just maybe, to be happy.

In the end, does all the stuff actually make you happier or more fulfilled? Or perhaps, is it more of a distraction because you felt bored or lonely or insecure?

I want to propose a tiny exercise, a moment of reflection. Spend like 30 solid seconds. A full thought journey.

Now, maybe you are one of those lucky people with thrift and focus who still cherishes each and every one of your possessions. If so, I congratulate you. Marie Kondo would be proud. You are ahead...or perhaps behind, retaining the respect our ancestors had for things.

For the rest of us, I think it is very beneficial to try to take a step back and really examine our relationship to our stuff.

How often do you buy stuff? What are the things you consider before you buy something? How often is the stuff you buy what you really needed? What do you do with your things when you no longer want them? How often does that happen?

Perhaps it will become clear to you, as it did to me, that shopping can be an addiction, an addiction that society and capitalism (wondering when I would get there, weren't you?) encourages. Buying stuff, getting stuff, provides a little hit of dopamine that quickly fades, requiring us to get MORE. And for what?

We all know those cat toys you ordered are going to get completely ignored, as the cat will prefer to sit in the box they came in. And it turns out getting coffee can be quite an expensive habit (finance.yahoo), set to get even more expensive as Climate Change affects coffee production (ourworld.unu.edu). As for those shoes, I guess if they really bring you that much joy, you do you. But I would bet you only wear 2, maybe 3, of the pairs of shoes in your closet regularly.

Honestly, I really can't judge. I literally do not know how many pairs of shoes are in my closet, and there is definitely another pile of worn out ones somewhere that I just can't quite throw away (gotta watch the hoarder gene).

But that brings me to another issue: the quality of the things we buy.

Quality

Its no secret that "they don't make things like they used to" (a paraphrase from all grandparents and curmudgeons everywhere). From refrigerators to shoes, the quality of products has generally gone down over the past several decades. The result of this is that we make, buy, sell, and trash a lot more stuff. There are a few reasons for this:

1. Planned Obsolescence. Entering into popular parlance after Apple got into trouble for allegedly slowing down older phone models to encourage users to buy new ones (forbes.com), this generally refers to production practices where a corporation deliberately makes its products unrepairable or poorer quality in order to get people to buy more.
2. Prioritizing cost over quality. Its hard to convince a company to keep making a high quality product that costs more if people would rather buy a shitty product that costs less, or if they can't tell the difference (hello, online shopping) or if they can't afford quality (see: the cost of poverty).
3. Loss of craftsmanship. People used to make and repair their own clothes. They could fix a chair when it broke, or reattach the handle on the faucet. As we have become less handy, we've also become less patient. Instead of learning how to fix something, we throw it out and buy new. Products thus become less repairable over time, and specialists (like cobblers) become harder to find.

Learning how to buy high quality, or how to repair things certainly requires some effort, but its also extremely rewarding. There are also a lot of different approaches you can take. Just remember: its impossible to be perfect, but its easy to do better.

Figuring it out

I'm going to borrow a line from work and say if there is one thing to remember, it is:

Here is a breakdown of my approach to pursuing that sentiment.

Note: I'm working on filling in each one of these. If you want to get the latest content as I write it, please subscribe!

1. Buy less (tips and tricks for the shopaholics out there)
2. Buy better (transportation, materials, secondhand, ethical considerations)
3. Repair and disposal
4. Certifications and green washing (legit signs something is probably better, how to spot greenwashing)
5. Plastic
6. Fabrics
7. Wood
8. Leather
9. Holidays, Events & Gifts (a fairly personal take)

Feeling a little overwhelmed? Don't worry. Change is a journey. Here's some inspiration for what the world could be like: